Happy due date, baby girl. I felt it appropriate to share about your birthday on the day you were supposed to be born. As scary as it was to have you arrive nearly a month early, these past 26 days have been wonderful having you here.
My sweet Rowan Grey, here is the story of how you entered the world.
Thursday, April 6th, your daddy and I went to our 36 week appointment. We heard your heartbeat and the doctor confirmed on the ultrasound you were still feet down with your head snuggled up against my rib. He told us that at our next appointment we would have to decide if we wanted to do a Version where the doctor would try and turn you or if we wanted to schedule a c-section. I wasn’t at peace with either of these options, but knew a healthy baby was far more important than any of my desires. We were less at peace with a doctor trying to force you to turn so we decided we’d schedule a c-section at our next appointment if you didn’t turn on your own.
That afternoon I took your four-legged sister, Molly, on a walk and just prayed and talked to you. I prayed that you would turn and that we wouldn’t have to make the decision to have a c-section. I prayed God would show me what I needed to do to help you turn. As I walked I realized you may be breech for a reason. Maybe that was the safest position for you. The more I walked the more at peace I was with how you may join the world and knew a c-section may be our only option. I then felt sad that I would be choosing your birthday for you with a scheduled delivery. I wanted so much for you to surprise us with your arrival. I prayed that you would come before the scheduled date so you could at least choose your own birthday.
That evening, your daddy and I finished up some chores and before bed he coincidently and conveniently packed his hospital bag. I had asked him for a few weeks to pack, just in case, and that night he finally chose to. We briefly slept and at 11:55 p.m. my water broke.
Baby girl, I was so scared. I knew what was happening and what it meant, but it just wasn’t time. You weren’t due for another four weeks. Your daddy and I sat there shaking as I called the hospital, fully knowing they would tell me to come in. I knew this time would come. I prayed just hours before that you would surprise us with your arrival. I didn’t expect my prayers to be answered so soon. The whole time I kept thinking about how little you must be.
We arrived at the hospital and quickly found ourselves in a room with nurses all around us. I was hooked up to monitors and just laid there listening to your heartbeat and trying so hard to feel your moves. I was terrified something would happen to you. Nurses and doctors kept asking me questions and I kept replying ‘I don’t know, I still have 4 more weeks’. They prepared us for the possibility of you being rushed to the NICU or at least a lengthy stay in the nursery after delivery. This is not how I wanted your little life to begin. The nurses told me that babies will either come out pink or white and we wanted a pink baby. So I prayed for a pink baby.
I was wheeled into the delivery room and they brought your daddy in right before they began the c-section. Thinking of you and your sweet face kept me calm. All I wanted was to hear your little cries. At 2:29 a.m. on April 7th, you were born. I didn’t hear you cry. I kept asking if you were ‘white’, and a sweet nurse leaned close and asked if I was expecting a ‘black’ baby. No, just a ‘pink’ one. And then I heard you cry. It was labored, but you were crying. Your daddy kept rushing back and forth to check on us both. I am sure he was so overwhelmed with joy and shock. They helped your little lungs and then gave you to your daddy. He was the first to hold you. He is the first man that will ever hold you and love you.
You were finally placed in my arms and my whole world changed. I became a mommy in an instant. What a sweet surprise you were.
We were and still are so incredibly lucky that you were born perfectly healthy. No visits to the NICU. No stay in the nursery. You remained in my arms the whole time we were in the hospital. You passed every check and test with no problems and each time we thanked God for our healthy baby.
You made April 7th the sweetest day of the year instead of a dark reminder of our loss. On April 7, 2016, we had a miscarriage. On April 7, 2017, you made us a mommy and daddy.
We love you, sweet baby girl.
Photography – sarahephoto.com